Around 2013 I read Warsan Shire’s ‘Teaching My Mother How To Give Birth’. I fell in love with her. I fell in love with her in a way I’d never fallen in love before. I wanted her all to myself. I Googled Warsan after stumbling across this book and, while normally I would have jumped on Facebook to praise her name, I found myself silent. That good quiet space one gets after epic coitus. I found her audiobook on bandcamp and hit the Warsan blunt one more time. I didn’t want her tainted, I didn’t want her poems quoted; over used and over run. I didn’t want her exposed to light. Warsan and this collection was…my precious.
Fast Forward to 2016 and I see my Facebook timeline blowing up with praises for Beyonce’s new video movie. I’m not an uber fan of hers so this drop was not on my radar. I went about my night and next day doing pretty well. One of my FB friends told me I should watch it and so I did. My first pass through I couldn’t get into it, I laughed at the dramatics of it. It was too deep for someone like Beyonce (sorry BeyHive). I kept saying how much I loved the spoken word parts but I could give or take the visuals and music at themoment. I gave it another go and the lyrics began to grow on me; the spoken word was eating at me though.
I was in Chicago at the time and on the way home to Fort Wayne, I listened to it again, and then again with my sister when I got home. She had the same reaction. Those words, that spoken word doesn’t sound like Beyonce’s writing. I’d only listened to the audiobook twice so the match up didn’t quite resonate with me until I once again went to Google. There I saw Warsan’s name. I was happy, worried, mad, sad, and annoyed that now Warsan may be reduced to the title of ‘That Girl Who Did The Poems for Beyonce’. After getting over my unneeded tantrum, I realized Warsan allowed for this to happen, if she was happy with it that’s all that matters. My opinion really isn’t shit.
It reminds me of my own writing issues and blocks I continue to have. I can’t write like Warsan anymore, I used to in my teen years but not anymore. I got too busy and clouded and I can’t be sad that she is someone’s muse. My hope is that I can still have a piece of her writing to myself, for just a little bit longer.
P.S. Don’t worry BeyHive, I actually like the Lemonade album now…No Epipen Required