No, actually no, no I do not have MILF money. I’m not a MILF. Ooooohhhh how I wish I was though! I was all of these things at one point or continue to be:
Whole Foods aficionado
but never once did I fall into the category of you’d like to fuck. Don’t break out the violins, I’m not downing myself, I’m stating fact. I was never the lusted after woman. I’m the chick who could get my friends laid with words. My guy friends would call me up and would write down my poetry or lines. My own boyfriends weren’t exactly lustful but I did’t care. I wasn’t the type of girl in college to ask you if we could have sex. Guys wanted sex, I wanted sex so I pretty much said “Yo, we doing this or nah?” and the bumping of uglies commenced. In case you didn’t know most college guys are like broken vending machines, you don’t even have to put a quarter in, just touch ’em right and you got you some.
Now in my over 30 adulthood I am more seasoned, if you will, and with 2 marriages and two kids under my belt I kinda want the Ms. Parker affect. I don’t need to be flashy but I want to go to the grocery store and turn heads. I’m married, so I don’t wish to fuck these people but I kinda want them to wish they could? (Narcissistic AF right now, I know).
As for the money part, I’m working on it. I’ve done of few things with my writing, especially my erotica that have allowed me to cash a few decent checks. I’m not Kardashian rolling but, it’s cute. Until I start working out and eating better I will dance my tush off to MILF Money and daydream of being the MILF I always knew I could be. Ahh the dreams us ladies have.